Recently I have been feeling fat. I mean, I always identify as fat (according to my BMI I am ‘Morbidly Obese’ which is completely false) but I have put on some winter weight and it is making me feel very self conscious again. My clothes, which are already ill fitted due to my long torso (height of 203cm and ‘short’ legs), are starting to feel small. Today while warming up for my drama class in front of a mirror I kept seeing my saggy stomach fall out of my shirt and it made me cringe. It makes me not want to be in public. I have actually been laughed at by strangers due to my size and it hurts, no matter how much I don’t let it affect me, it still hurts.
I guess I am posting this (my first topless pic in a looong time) to try and reaffirm myself. I am not looking for compliments. I do not consider myself ‘sexy’ or ‘attractive’ but I do not think I am ugly either. That distinction has taken me many years to realize. I am a good person and it shouldn’t matter what I look like, but it does. Half the battle is being comfortable in my own skin and this is a step towards that (again). So I hope you don’t mind scrolling past this on your dash and please remember looks have nothing to do with what kind of person you are, which is infinitely more important in the long run.